And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
