it wasn't lemon gatorade
Its about making memories worth repressing
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
