If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Randomize
