I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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