Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
