Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
