am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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