dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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