Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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