wakey wakey hands off snakey
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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