glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
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