i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
