I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
