My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize