So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
