i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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