i just wanna soil my oats bro
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Randomize
