I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
