Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
