doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Randomize
