never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
