I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
