I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
