This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
