She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
