I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize