Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
