1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Randomize