her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
