Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
