There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
