you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
