hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Mom said you looked used
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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