and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize