I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
