I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
