in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Of course I have a pirate flag
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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