Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize