I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
