Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
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