you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Randomize
