nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
