dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
This house was built for laser tag.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
