why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
