oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
