You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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