Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
