Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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