So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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