I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
