Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
