Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
