This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
So gin and wine won't be happening again
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
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