he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
