I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
