I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize