Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
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