ugly people sure do ruin things
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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