I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Randomize
