Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
is wine microwaveable?
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
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