sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize