I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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