i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize
