he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize