i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
