He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize