Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
