This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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