We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Randomize
