Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
